The Braying and Neighing of Barnyard Animals

Just thought I'd let you all know.

Hello world.

Now, it has come to my attention that I have been being an anti social bitch.  Moreso than usual!  I would like to change that.  My weekdays are really pretty much in a death grip by school.  So, anyone up for anything this weekend?  Of the Friday or Saturday variety?  I need some interaction with people outside of classmates and teachers.

Also!  Just got home from getting my root canal done.  My mouth is currently quite numb, thank you very much.

You may be a bad enough dude to save the president, but are you a bad enough dude to play Lose/Lose?

Had a really weird dream last night.  It started out with me noticing that my dad's truck, my mom's van, and my brother's jeep were all missing, despite everyone in my family being at the house.  When my mom and I went out into the driveway to check, not only had it apparently snowed a couple feet, but we saw my dad's truck driving by.  It was about to pull into the driveway when the driver saw us, and I recognized it as my brother Matt--problem was Matt was inside the house, minding his own business.  So the other Matt pulled back out and started racing off, and me and my mom came to the conclusion that the vehicles had been stolen by Matt clones.  We hopped in my truck and gave chase, and I apparently had a handgun for some reason.  We lost the Matt copy driving the pickup, but managed to track down the one driving the jeep.  Before we could get caught up we were cut off by an ambulance.  At first we just thought it was some idiot driver, but I noticed it was also being driven by a Matt clone.  And then shit got real, because I remember firing the handgun at the Matt clone, and then I think I woke up.

But just thought I'd catalog it all here.  It was really unusually vivid, and I'd just thought I'd like to write it down so I don't forget it.  It was really, really bizarre.

I just felt like drawing the best fucking picture ever.
In MS Paint.

Suck on that.

You've all probably seen this before, but I thought it was funny, so whatever.

If I'm in a particularly shitty mood for the foreseeable future, I have a good reason, trust me.

Lawsuits.  I swear to fucking god that is what is the problem here.  Christ almighty, lawsuits are supposed to be problems for TV families, not mine.

First, let me begin.

About two years ago, our family got a dog.  A German Wire-Haired Pointer, to be precise, and we named him Indiana.  Unlike our dog before him, who was boisterous and always happy to see anyone friend or stranger, it was immediately apparent Indy was practically the opposite--here was an animal wracked with painful anxiety issues.  He feared strangers, pissed himself when he got overly excited, freaked out when he thought he was alone, leaped the fence and ran at the sound of fireworks.  Still, Indiana proved a friendly companion to those he trusted.  Indy was a handful, but it was worth it just to be able to come home and see someone genuinely happy to see you.

Now I'll cut the past tense BS.  As I said before, Indy has a tendency to jump the fence.  We've tried many different mechanisms to keep him in, but he's just tenacious as he is clever.  Now, as far as I know, he hasn't caused any major trouble when roaming free--the worst I can think of is when he had somehow gotten ahold of a stuffed pheasant and decapitated it, which was a bit unnerving to pick up.

A bit more backstory--I have two neighbors, named Doug and Paul.  Doug's an old miser of a wiener who technically owns the land behind our backyard (even though we maintain it) and owns a used car parts store.  Paul's a much more agreeable fellow who is constantly working.  The guy just loves physical labor it seems.  Indy actually accepts Paul and his wife and has no issues with them.  However, due to the trees between our yards, Doug and Indy aren't particularly familiar with each other.

I had first suspected that Doug wasn't all that fond fond of Indy for one reason or another when he lied to my dad and told him that Indy jumped the fence regularly, usually several times a day.  This is a bald-faced lie--I know Indy better than Doug or my dad, especially his behavior during the day.  Indy doesn't jump several times a day, he sleeps all fucking day.  I know this.  However, I did not suspect that this would be a real problem, as I knew where Doug got the idea from:

Earlier this year (I'm thinking beginning of April), my family went on a trip up North but I stayed behind for school.  Now, Indy really freaks out when he thinks everyone has left him alone, and this is when he's most prone to jumping out.  The day after they left, Indy lept the fence around three times in a panic before he calmed down and realized I was there and wasn't leaving him.  During one of these escapes, Doug (and I think one of his sons) witnessed it, and he likely witnessed all the others.

As I said, Indy's a handfull, and I figured that well, Doug doesn't like him, but what difference does it make?  I mean, we can't all be friends.  No biggie.

Nope, sorry Nick, nothing is ever that easy when it comes to Indy.

Last Saturday, around eight PM, I was out for a stroll as is common practice for me.  As I came back to my road, I saw Doug walking over to talk to my neighbor Paul.  Granted, Doug doesn't normally talk to anyone but our family and his other close neighbors, but Paul has been working on building a new cement driveway for a couple months, and there's little Doug likes to do more than to walk up to someone who is hard at work on something and waste their time by talking to them and not offer help, so I figured it was of no consequence.

Now skip ahead to Sunday.  I was going to help my mom stain the fence.  When I went outside to help, I saw that my mom looked distraught, which never fails to give me immediate negative vibes; my mom is pretty damn good at hiding her true feelings about something.  If she's clearly sad, some bad shit has just gone down.  So yeah.  Not good.  Not good at all.  I asked her what was wrong, and she said "We've got a problem," in an unusually calm voice for how awful the news was, but that's pretty typical of my mother.  Apparently our neighbor Paul had just told her something rather troubling.  Believe me, I was none to happy about what she told me.

That previous night, during that conversation between my two neighbors that I thought of as completely innocuous, Doug had some rather disstressing things to say.  Doug told Paul that if Indy ever got out and even touched one of his grandchildren, he would sue us for $100,000.  If Indy harmed them in any way, even a small scratch, he would sue us for (and I am not fucking kidding) $1,000,000.  He'd have everything taken from us but our house and a lone vehicle.

What.

The.

Fuck.

Basically, if our dog so much as caused a small bit of discomfort for his grandchildren he would do everything in his power to completely ruin our lives.  And he's not even man enough to tell it to us face to face.  I understand that he worries about his grandchildren--Indy can play a little rough rough, and they are very small, but is it just me, or is there no real equality in these infractions against one another?  How can a guy we thought was an okay guy (I mean shit, we've only lived next to him for fifteen years) turn to what has got to be approaching cartoonish super-villiany?  I don't think I even have to say what this means about us keeping our dog (we basically can't).

So yeah, if you speak to me and I seem a little miffed, uh, you should know now.

Totally got my wisdom teeth yanked today.  Wasn't too unpleasant--quite the contrary.  Laughing gas is like the stuff of the gods, you don't give a flying shit about anything while you breathe it in.  All four of my wisdom teeth were already fully erupted and weren't misaligned or anything, so they could all just be pulled straight out, though one tooth got caught on part of the gum and ripped it a bit, so now I have some stitches in my mouth, which is a new experience.

So now I get eat non-solid foods for the next couple days, and I'm already sick of pudding.  Doc also said to lay low and not to overexert myself and don't make any plans, to which I said "uh, okay, I'll try."  Only thing that really hurts is the part that they stitched up, but apparently the stitches are dissolving stitches, so I won't have to go in to get them removed.  The amounts of blood in my saliva seems to be decreasing, so I guess that's a good sign.  But man would I like some solid foods.  Have you ever taken a dump after not eating a whole lot of solid foods for a while?  I'm not exactly looking forward to that.

Can't wait for that root canal I need done.

Holy fuck is Story Boarding going to be the death of me. Damn.

That is all.

Continuing from my last journal... The second wave of aliens I drew just recently is to the right of the Vice Lord. If you missed it last time (or forgot), the first wave of aliens was done for a school project and the alien ideas weren't really mine. The second wave I drew under my own volition and are completely my own concepts.

Anyway, that's all I got. I just got ZBrush via highly legal means and I intend to dick around with it for the next couple of hours and see what I can make with no real knowledge of how to use it.

I've been working on these designs for school for the past couple of weeks.  Basically, our final project is to form teams and create a board game.  Ours is about aliens and shit.  I'm the art guy (director?) of the team I'm in, so I got to do the alien designs. (human designs are being handled by someone else)  Character designing is fun, and I'm being useful, it's a win win situation.  I really like this angle of being given some basic outlining ideas and told to visually conceptualize them.

Just thought I'd share this with people outside of my team.  Also, if you're going to look at it, full view it; it's enormously huge, but you'll be missing a lot if you don't.

I wish I could say I drew that, but I didn't.

Fucking owls.

Goddamn, what is this feeling?  I feel like I have things I should be doing.  It's been a while, I don't like it, make it go away.  Unpleasant.

I just spent the past four and a half hours on a drawing assignment that I had already spent four hours on previously and I'm still only half way done.  And then I have another similar drawing to do.  Man, fuck that shit.  They're not even fun drawings.  Buildings and bookcases and shit.  This kinda junk is the same damn reason I quit my art major.  I want to be creative.  But I must perservere, I can't fuck this up again...

I apologize to anyone for being antisocial.  I mean, more than usual.  I'm struggling to set priorities straight and manage time better but I still need a lot of work on it to be done.

It's late, sorry that this journal isn't nearly as good of a read as my last ones, I know you've all been patiently waiting this past month.

Just got back from Grygla for Christmas.  I totally won like eighty-two dollars at Bingo at the bar up there the other night, too.  Which is always useful, what with me constantly lacking money.

Nice to learn that the rest of my family hates my aunts new boyfriend as much as I do.  He just sucks as an all around person.  Cocky, talks too much, rude, has a really ugly dog.  Been married and divorced four times--and my aunt sees nothing wrong with him.  Maybe he's really good in the sack, but I'd really rather not think about that, thank you very much.  And I don't think that would keep people together for more than a year.  I think I'll just stick to my usual reasoning being that she's crazy and drunk half the time she's awake.

I'm thinking about becoming a "professional" panhandler.  I hear they make good money for doing absolutely nothing.

What is our plan for when the aliens attack?  Or land peacefully, or whatever?  What will we do?  What will the governments of the world do?  I mean, I'm just curious.  If they land in Antarctica, do we all race to see who can meet them first?  If they do come in peace, do they have limited diplomatic immunity?  What if they are so inhuman that we have a hard time as a people believing that they are sentient beings?  Like, what if they were hideous, hideous Lovecraftian horrors with a pseudo hive mind and spoke to each other by emitting pheromones?  How would humanity treat such abominations even if they were friendly?  People don't think about this enough and that should stop.

Here's a tip for the ladies--if you don't want dudes to look, don't wear a shirt with something written on the chest.  That's just not fair.

Kinda bugs me when anyone accuses somebody of "selling out."  Yes, how dare they like to make money.  How dare they.  If you want a song with a good message on this, listen to Tool's Hooker With a Penis.  Good song.  Though I warn against searching for it on say, Google.

I drew my first jewfro this past weekend.  It was...  an experience.

If I could pinpoint my single greatest pet peeve, it would be pretentiousness.  A bloated sense of self-importance.  Probably the number one reason I hate Steve Jobs.  "You know what I don't like about Microsoft?  They have no soul.  They don't see the art behind it all."  Paraphrased, but Steve Jobs is a huge douche.  If you ever want to get your blood boiling real quick, just listen to him talk.  Or just look at his face when he talks.  That beeming "I'm important, I'm a genius" crap on his face.  Go to hell.  Goddamn.

Also probably why I just don't like the Apple brand, period.  I take one look at their store in the Rosedale Mall, and know that I immediately hate its employees, or rather, the people in charge of making the employees look like that.  They're hip and cool, see!  They wear trendy clothes and stuff instead of uniforms!  And everything's all white.  It's not a store, it's an experience!  It's the future information sharing age, man!  I'm not a big fan of hippie ideals (the pseudo-spiritual, free-love part of it, not the lazy part of it, I'm okay with laziness).

There's never anything good on TV on Sundays.  What's up with that?  It's like they expect me to be doing something other than watching TV on Sundays.  And I swear, if the History Channel shows Band of Brothers one more time...  It's not bad or anything, I've just seen it too many times, and it's way too long.

I remember a guy way back when who said his two favorite movies were The Godfather and The Sound of Music.  The sheer scope of the difference between the two kinda stuck with me.  Anyone else ever just remember really bizarrely pointless things about their past?  It seems like my memory picks and chooses what it wants to remember at complete random.

Did you know that I have never, ever texted someone?  Not a once.  Seems pointless to me.  If you're holding a phone and intend on informing someone with a phone of their own, I say just phone them.  Makes sense to me.

Man it's cold in here.

You know what animal I kinda feel bad for?  Male angler fish.  The females get to be these relatively large, hideously ugly fish with gnarly teeth and a lightbulb on their head.  The males?  They're little tiny guppy looking things that can't even feed themselves.  Their entire purpose for living is to bury themselves into the side of the females and basically degrade and become a lump of flesh attached to the female that pumps sperm to her when she needs it.  Basically take anywhere testicles.  Poor guys.

I think I'm pretty prepared for the coming zombie-apocalypse.  Come Z-Day I will be ready.  I'd be more ready if I had a shotgun, but I'll make do.

Here's a question--if you could make an opposite sex clone of yourself, would you have sex with your clone?  I mean, would you?  Think about it.  Do you love yourself that much?  Is that technically incest?  When they share all of your genetic identity but with a chromosome switched up?  I don't really know the rules.  Paging Dr. Freud.

Have I ever told you that Manta Rays are the single scariest animal ever?  No animal should look like it has devil horns and a demonic tail with wings like that.  They're just evil.  Just look at them.

One thing about having long hair--it's harder to hide from someone who knows you in a crowd of people.  "Huh, that chick sure has broad shoulders for a lady--oh, wait, it's Nick."  My fur coat usually doesn't help either, but damn it all, that's a family heirloom.  Screw you all.  And it's warm.  Restricts arm movement a bit though.

monch

monch

monch

Bah, this computer chair is coming apart.  I like this chair.

You know what bugs me?  Besides, well, everything?  Commercials that refuse to use the word "Christmas" yet play blantantly Christmas songs (Jingle Bells or whatever) and show/say blantantly Christmas themes (trees, ornaments, mistletoe, Santa).  I mean, I'm not into that whole "war on Christmas" baloney (I choose to spell it that way), but seriously, who are you afraid of offending?  I mean, c'mon.

Maybe I'm a bit late with that one.

How about this, then: the coming robot apocalypse scares me more than the coming zombie apocalypse.  It's like the zombie apocalypse, except they are smarter than you instead of dumber.  When we build artificial intelligence that can process information significantly faster than a human, we are fucked.  Mark my word.  They'll figure out how useless we are once they come, you'll see.  When they start doing ten thousand years' worth of thinking within three and a half days, you'll see.  They're gonna put us in a zoo and throw peanuts at us.

I think the natural disaster I fear the most is a Gamma Ray Burst.  Basically instantaneous extinction with no real warning.  I think there's some early warning group of people for that shit, but I can't imagine what good that would do.  "Okay, the world can panic now, we're fucked."

Snow can go to hell and then melt and turn into water which then will turn into vapor that condenses and rains down on the souls down there because I have completely lost my train of thought.

Oh, snow.  Yeah, I hate it.  I can't honestly think of a single thing that I like about it.  I hate the way it feels under my feet, I hate the way it looks (especially after people and cars have gone over it), I hate it coalescing (spelling?) on my clothes when it falls, I hate skiing, I hate the cold that comes with it, I hate hate hate hate driving in it, I hate snowmen (they're just stupid), I hate the way it makes the world just seem so unusually still and empty, I hate shoveling the shit, I hate plowing the shit, I hate having to wipe off the snow off of my truck, I hate every goddamn thing about it.  I'd move, but unfortunately, that requires a desire to get up and move, which I have none.

Also, I'm going to Brown College this January, so moving might be a bit of an inconvenience for that particular area.  On that note, I had to take some sort of "computer readiness" test, to see how "computer ready" I was for the school (all classes require a laptop).  Most of the questions were insultingly easy or patronizing ("which button do you press to open up a file?  is this a proper e-mail address?"), but I was a bit confused on the "which of these electronics do you have and use on a daily basis," which included both "Blackberry" and "iPhone," which I thought, for all intents and purposes, were the same thing but different brands.  Kind shows just how out of touch I am with anything to do with phones.

I just watched a thing on TV that proved to me that Galactus (or rather, the Ultimate "GA LAK TUS") was thinking pretty small.  Why devour the energy of planets when stars output gajillions times more energy?  Devour them instead.  It'll fill you up more.

Earlier today I was looking through a bunch of old school notebooks and noticed that I tended to just draw in them instead.  The only notebook I found that had actual notes in it was my calculus notebook from my senior year in high school.  Also, it was kinda neat seeing my art change through the years.  I definitely do mature and get better at it.  There's definite progress even between each year.  Though I think I slowed in the college years.  There's some things in my college notebooks that look way better than stuff I draw now, which just hurts to think about.  Maybe they were flukes.

It was also kinda fun to see the changing subject matter.  What I tended to draw during said years.  Like, one notebook will have a lot of monsters and shit in it.  Another will have hot chicks.  Another will be filled with cartoons.  Yet another was filled with people I drew without their knowledge (actually useful skill building, but still a little creepy in a voyueristic fashion).  My noses have gotten a lot better over the years too.  I'm a lot better at drawing noses.

Grigori Rasputin is probably my hero.  Not because he was a drunken lech who lied to the royal family and was an all around douche, but because he was poisoned, shot a zillion times and clubbed over the head multiple times.  He was then wrapped in foil and dumped in a freezing lake, and when his body was recovered, they deduced he died of hypothermia.  That is hardcore.

I need to get out more and start meetin' some chicks.  Just a random thought.

One thing I think I genuinely miss from living in St. Cloud was not having anyone keeping track of me.  I didn't have to inform anyone that I felt like going for a long walk around campus.  Freedom is nice, but I kinda need to get some money before I can actually attain it again.  Other than that, though, didn't care much for it.  Living in the dorms kinda really sucked.  I mean, when your neighbor is the floor manager or whatever and is up with his friends until four in the morning throwing flour (?) at each other and you have a test at eight in the morning...  kinda blows.  Library was nice though.  So I guess I'll miss that.  Nice library.  The cafeteria food wasn't terrible either, but that doesn't really count.

I mean, seriously, who vomits in a public toilet and then doesn't flush?  I mean, honestly.

I really, seriously need to start acting again.  It did me good to actually do things that I enjoy.

Can you comprehend the speed of light?  Don't lie, you can't.  No one can.

Also, I hate conspiracy theories.  I mean, does the govermnet seriously have that much power to keep absolutely everyone quiet in the government about aliens or faking the moon landing or whatever?  No they don't you idiots.  The government is, in all actuality, a bunch of human beings in positions, not some omnipotent overseer that can control anything and everything it needs to.

And don't even get me started on that "the moon landing was a hoax" shit.  That's probably the only phrase that gets my bloodboiling as much as "boneclaws" does.

I saw an add for that Frost/Nixon movie, and is that seriously the best impersonator of Richard Nixon they could get?  He barely looks anything like him, and my brother does a better impersonation of Nixon's voice (not saying that my brother is bad at it, he's actually got a pretty good Nixon impersonation).

Turkey Day is always a good day.  I've never had a bad Turkey Day.  I can get behind a holiday focused solely around eating food.  I'm pretty good at that.  I don't feel left out.  Also, I'm a fan of eating poultry.  Oh heck, I just like meat.  Except for ham.  Don't much care for it.

On a related note, is it just me, or do those descriptions of what happens in an animal processing plant that bleeding heart vegans tell you make you hungry?  I mean, really, am I really supposed to feel sorry for a turkey, an animal so dumb that, when they get cold, they pile on top of one another and smother each other to death?  I say we're doing them a favor.

Also, apparently female hyenas can have engorged clitorises (clitorisi?) that become so large that it not only becomes difficult to tell them apart from male hyenas, but sometimes they use them to rape both male and female hyenas.  Just something to think about.

And to add to the animal rape quotient, there's this type of beetle that I've forgotten the name of.  Basically, what you must know is that the females have perfectly functional vaginas.  And the males apparently have absurdly long and pointy penises (for their size).  And apparently, instead of copulating like normal, the male beetles just like to impale females with their penises (and sometimes other males) and just inject their semen right into their body.  According to scientists, they are apparently "sexual sadists" and just happen to really like proving just how manly they are.  I prescribe to the belief that they either really hate vaginas, or they have really, really bad eyesight.

Having a pretty hard time getting excited for a show called "Extreme Trains."  Matt tells me it's pretty interesting and is pretty informational, but the pretentious title just kinda puts me off.  Trains aren't particularly extreme, except for those mag-lev trains they got in Germany.  They're pretty extreme.  But they're using magnets to levitate, so it's almost not fair.  But back to my basic point--trains are not extreme.

Oh, related--pretentiousness is one of my number one pet-peeves.  Probably the number one reason I really, really dislike Steve Jobs, who I left off of my list of people who I'd like one chance to punch, but that was abridged, so forgive me for not instilling you with the knowledge that I despise Steve Jobs.  I just really hate the way he talks, what he talks about, the boastful look in his eyes, his constant bitterness at anything he perceives as not creative, etc.  Anytime I hear words come from his mouth, I just cringe.

Apparently some of my homework for my new major involves playing a video game.  See, that's homework I can get behind.  Unless the game is like...  Iggy's Wrecking Balls, or something.  That game was...  trippy, to put it mildly.

I think a huge amount of bitterness I feel for politics is a result of having a mostly conservative family and mostly liberal friends.  I don't prescribe myself to any party, so I don't take sides and mostly associate any insults to the opposing party as insults to my friends/family.  My friends, by and large, not particularly stupid.  And my family isn't particularly stupid.  Basically, what I'm saying is that I don't like people insulting people I care about.

Maybe it's just because I'm a guy, but what's with the ladies who wear provocative clothing and then get angry when you take a look?  I mean....  it seems entirely self-defeating.  If you don't want the guys to look, wear normal clothes.  I really don't understand the ladies, but really, not much of a revelation.

Could you even imagine what it would be like to be a celebrity?  People following your every move, taking pictures of you, asking you shit.  You couldn't just go out and grab a thing from the liquor store without someone taking your picture (several times!) and then selling them to tabloids just so they could say "hey, that was the highlight of my life--I got an unattractive picture of Tom Cruise eating a messy hoagie.  Whoohoo!"

Anyone else get sick of all those car ads on TV?  I mean, what's even the point?  A huge majority of your audience can't even afford to buy them new.  Who exactly are they selling to on the History Channel?  Rich old people who like history?  I suppose.  But it doesn't seem to justify the amount of automobile adds.

And because of how much I watch the History Channel, I bet you absolutely nothing that I've seen more life insurance ads than you've seen in your lifetime.  I'm practically a life insurance shopping expert.  And medicare.  Medicare providers are huge on the HC too.

That one guy--Wayne Douglas Barlowe--he's a pretty good artist.  I only wish I had half the creative talent he does.

You know what's like the single coolest dinosaur ever?  Irritator.  Wholly and entirely because of its name.  There's a reason for the name too, but I don't feel like getting into it.

I hate hominyms, or whatever they're called.  Words that sound the same but mean something completely different.  Like wholly, holey, and holy.  Just needlessly confusing.  The hole thing is holy full of wholes.

I really want to start really working on a graphic novel, but the problem is is that I have five different ideas that I would like to all complete someday and I have no idea which to start first.  So here's the ideas:
1. An episodic type story focusing around a kid who grew up in a family of superheroes and hates being thrust into the superhero world because it's expected of him.  Focuses more on why being a superhero would actually kinda suck.  A sorta coming of age story?  Probalby not.  But... eh, I don't know.  I haven't thought it out perfectly clearly.
2. Takes place in a universe where superhuman abilities are treated completely realistically--a man who is completely invulnerable is unable to cut his hair or fingernails, a woman is driven insane by the constant assault of her superhuman senses, etc.  These "supers" are treated as second class citizens, and the story follows a young freelance journalist delving into the individual lives of the people in a super community to gain a better understanding of who they really are.
3. A story about a twisted man who is somehow transported to the graphic novel world and figures that, since it's just a graphic novel and none of the people or consequences are real, he can get away with anything and everything he wants.  The story follows a group of detectives trying to catch him as he commits obscenely depraved act after obscenely depraved act.  Ends with a big metatextual mind fuck.
4. No plot ideas yet, but the focus is to create the single most sacriligeous graphic novel ever made.  Lots of violence and sex.  Just see how much I could make Christian ideals squirm.

Which one?

I hate how when you order "hot" anything at a restaurant (hot wings, hot sauce, whatever) it's not hot at all.  At least at more general restaurants.  Too many pussies who claim to like hot food but can't actually handle it are ruining this nations hot foods in general restaurants and I just can't take it anymore.  Don't ruin my hot food assholes.

Anwho.  I'm apparently going to Brown College next semester, so I'll finally have some structure in my life.  As much as structureless is awesome, it's kind of seriously depressing after a while.

I tend to find myself drawing on small post-it notes late at night.  I have a whole pile of 'em, and they aren't have bad sketches.

If you actually look at a globe, all the continents are practically continuous.  Except for Antarctica, but Antarctica's just an anti-social bitch.  Dinosaurs used to live there though, and they were pretty bitching.

Did you know that adult male lions tend to kill cubs belonging to lionesses just so they can bang the female lions?

I hate the notion that a lot of new agey people have that extremely advanced aliens would have to be peaceful.  Who's to say that hyper advanced aliens who have mastered wormhole traveling or whatever would not have a single problem with eliminating an entire intelligent species?  They could always just find a new one.  I think we humans are too pussified nowadays.  If we are attacked by a huge intelligent force of aliens that think nothing of elminating six billion people, we're fucked.  We'd be too concerned about hurting their feelings or some dumb shit.

Also, why does everyone seem to imagine that aliens would be even vaguely human looking?

Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts is a great game.  Biggest reason being how it rewards creativity.  For thinking outside the box.

I need new headphones.  Mine are kinda tearing apart.  Also, I hate those little tiny earbug things.  They hurt my ears.  How can you trendy people stand them?  I can't wait until giant headphones are back in style.  But noooo, everything has to be small nowadays.  You people and your multi-purpose touch phones.  Mine has the ability to call people, and over half the time it isn't even on.

I've noticed that I tend to be a lot more forgiving for delivery drivers than others.  Everyone always blames late food on them and then docks their tip because of it.  Half the time it isn't their fault, trust me.

They should make a new Shining Force.  Like an actual new Shining Force.  None of this "it's called Shining Force but isn't actually Shining Force" bullshit.

Did you know that ants are the only animal other than humans to conduct war between two organized factions?  They do it for much the same reason that humans do--resources and territory.  Other animals apparently aren't smart enough to realize that these are important enough to organize together over and hoard.  They'd survive a lot longer and get a lot more shit done.  Just sayin', animal kingdom.  If you want to be intelligent like us, at least try.  Step one is cultivating plants and other animals (ants do this two).  Step two is to kill other factions of your species over this stuff.  Then kinda work your way up from there.

How are we supposed to stop global warming, anyway?  Why is it that 90% of all the people who constantly complain about it do nothing but hurt the cause?  I mean, I hurt the cause, but at least I don't go around bitching to people about it and then drive home in my car to use my computer that was made in very non-eco friendly factory while wearing clothes that were also made in said factories and eating foods that were too.

Also, PETA kills animals.  Like, lots of them.  They tend to euthenize two-thirds plus of the animals they "rescue."  Which is kinda funny.  Also, the vice president (or former vice president, I'm not sure if she's still there) has diabetes and takes insulin for it.  If you don't understand the irony, try researching the history of how insulin was discovered.

Here's a short list of people I'd like one chance to just punch in the face:
George Clooney, Bono, Courtney Love, whoever the hell did Snarf's voice on Thundercats, Billy Mays, Dane Cook, Andy Dick, Tetsuya Nomura, Jon Stewart, Rob Liefeld, Greg Land, Angelina Jolie, John Romero, Quentin Tarantino, that "ufologist" asshole on UFO Hunters, Tim Burton.
Keep in mind that this is a much abridged list.

I know I might be a little late with this, but I really do hate politics.  I really do.  Especially this whole two party system.  It's just stupid and the two parties are always really childishly petty when it comes to dealing with each other.  Both parties are a bunch of self-righteous cunts who can't see further past their own nose and venemously villianize their opposition.

I always tend to be uncomfortable labeling myself as anything.  And I really don't like it when people ask if I'm an artist, or imply that I am.  I just like to draw.  Real artists are crazy.

Yeah I'm done.

do this in a comment.  or else.

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
02) What was your dream growing up?
03) What talent do you wish you had?
04) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
05) Favorite vegetable?
06) What was the last book you read?
07) What zodiac sign are you?
08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
09) Worst Habit?
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
11) What is your favorite sport?
12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude?
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
16) Do you have any pets?
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
18) What was your first impression of me?
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
22) What color eyes do you have?
23) Ever been arrested?
24) Bottle or can soda?
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
27) What's your favorite place to hang out at?
28) Do you believe in ghosts?
29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
30) Do you swear a lot?
31) Biggest pet peeve?
32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
34) Favourite and least favourite food?
35) Do you believe in God?
36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?

I think I've got a cold. Or some sickness. Soar throat, coughing, headaches, stuffed nose, etc. Sounds like a cold, but I'm no doctor. Pretty sure I got it from my grandma who came down to visit for the past weekend, which would make it two Octobers in a row that woman has gotten me sick.

Halloween is in two days and I once again have nothing planned. Bugger. Oh well.

Installed a new light/fan fixture in my room, that was considerably more of a hassle than it should have been. Came with a pretty godawful instruction manual, too.

So I've been thinking of jumping back into school, but my problem is I just don't know what for.

Just a quick thing I recently found out--Woodrow Wilson was a huge racist.

Also, I would be more likely to actually like a presidential candidate if they were more like Teddy Roosevelt. That man got shit done.  Sadly, there is no amendmant or anything that states presidents have to be a certain level of badass, so we're stuck with a blathering old man who's practically senile and a smooth talker enshrouded in a cult of personality.

Okay, seriously, which way is she spinning and what foot is she balancing on. It changes everytime I look at it. What say you?

I think I would hate these presidential elections less if it was more about actual politics and less about calling the other side evil. The ads, their supporters, everything. I'm just fucking sick of it all. Act like civilized humans and maybe, just maybe, we'll get some fucking work done.

This whole bi-partisan bitter enemies bullshit is going to destroy us all. You're going to break it together and inevitably you're going to blame each other.

"Life isn’t divided into genres. It’s a horrifying, romantic, tragic, comical, science-fiction cowboy detective novel. You know, with a bit of pornography if you're lucky." -- Alan Moore

Ahahaha.... see?  I still live.

This past week I was at a lake somewhere.  Leech Lake.  Tends to be annual.  Nothing terribly exciting that I could trifle you with.
The thing about turning twenty-one is that all the old people want to have a beer with you.  Except, here's the kicker--I hate beer, and am not really a drinker at all.  What's so appealing about brewed barley anyway?  Who drinks grain?

Anyway, my grandpa, a stubborn old nut, wanted to have two beers with me.  I had one (to be polite) but couldn't stomach another.  I don't really know why I'm recanting this tale, but I just thought it was about the most interesting thing I had to say.

Saw the The Dark Knight again.  See it again if I had the money.

So apparently some dude named Todd Bachman was stabbed to death in Beijing today.  CEO of Bachman's Inc. (whatever that is), father of some old olympian volleyballer.  Nothing to out of the ordinary.  Only thing worth noting was that he was apparently a client of my mom's (who's a trust fund agent, fyi).  So yeah.  Six degrees of separation gets a little too close for comfort.

Maybe it's more worth noting that my mom's only reaction was "it's going to be hell at work on Monday."  Or maybe I'm being a little judgmental, I have no idea how well trust fund agents know their clients.

Okay I'm rambling.

Man, poor Charles.

"Experts weigh in on the naming of Brangelina's kids."

"Experts weigh in on the naming"

"Experts weigh in"

"Experts"

My god what has society come to.

Entertainment Weekly's list of the top movies of the last 25 years.

Bold the ones you have seen.
Put an asterisk after the movie title* if you really liked it.
Cross it out if you saw a film and really disliked it.
Underline the ones you own.

(I'm just gonna bold the ones I've seen, I don't wanna do the other shit)

1. Pulp Fiction (1994)
2. The Lord of the Rings trilogy (2001-03)
3. Titanic (1997)
4. Blue Velvet (1986)
5. Toy Story (1995)
6. Saving Private Ryan (1998)
7. Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
8. The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
9. Die Hard (1988)
10. Moulin Rouge (2001)
11. This Is Spinal Tap (1984)
12. The Matrix (1999)
13. GoodFellas (1990)
14. Crumb (1995)
15. Edward Scissorhands (1990)
16. Boogie Nights (1997)
17. Jerry Maguire (1996)
18. Do the Right Thing (1989)
19. Casino Royale (2006)
20. The Lion King (1994)
21. Schindler's List (1993)
22. Rushmore (1998)
23. Memento (2001)
24. A Room With a View (1986)
25. Shrek (2001)
26. Hoop Dreams (1994)
27. Aliens (1986)
28. Wings of Desire (1988)
29. The Bourne Supremacy (2004)
30. When Harry Met Sally (1989)
31. Brokeback Mountain (2005)
32. Fight Club (1999)
33. The Breakfast Club (1985)
34. Fargo (1996)
35. The Incredibles (2004)
36. Spider-Man 2 (2004)
37. Pretty Woman (1990)
38. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
39. The Sixth Sense (1999)
40. Speed (1994)
41. Dazed and Confused (1993)
42. Clueless (1995)
43. Gladiator (2000)
44. The Player (1992)
45. Rain Man (1988)
46. Children of Men (2006)
47. Men in Black (1997)
48. Scarface (1983)
49. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)
50. The Piano (1993)
51. There Will Be Blood (2007)
52. The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad (1988)
53. The Truman Show (1998)
54. Fatal Attraction (1987)
55. Risky Business (1983)
56. The Lives of Others (2006)
57. There’s Something About Mary (1998)
58. Ghostbusters (1984)
59. L.A. Confidential (1997)
60. Scream (1996)
61. Beverly Hills Cop (1984)
62. sex, lies and videotape (1989)
63. Big (1988)
64. No Country For Old Men (2007)
65. Dirty Dancing (1987)
66. Natural Born Killers (1994)
67. Donnie Brasco (1997)
68. Witness (1985)
69. All About My Mother (1999)
70. Broadcast News (1987)
71. Unforgiven (1992)
72. Thelma & Louise (1991)
73. Office Space (1999)
74. Drugstore Cowboy (1989)
75. Out of Africa (1985)
76. The Departed (2006)
77. Sid and Nancy (1986)
78. Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
79. Waiting for Guffman (1996)
80. Michael Clayton (2007)
81. Moonstruck (1987)
82. Lost in Translation (2003)
83. Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn (1987)
84. Sideways (2004)
85. The 40 Year-Old Virgin (2005)
86. Y Tu Mamá También (2002)
87. Swingers (1996)
88. Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)
89. Breaking the Waves (1996)
90. Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
91. Back to the Future (1985)
92. Menace II Society (1993)
93. Ed Wood (1994)
94. Full Metal Jacket (1987)
95. In the Mood for Love (2001)
96. Far From Heaven (2002)
97. Glory (1989)
98. The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999)
99. The Blair Witch Project (1999)
100. South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut (1999)

It's a pretty awful list by the way.  Missing a lot of good ones and contains a shit ton of bad ones and mediocre ones too.

My roommate back at St. Cloud really expanded my "movies seen" list.

blah blah blah my life is boring blah blah blah stuff no one wants to read about blah blah blah

There, I uploaded my LJ, happy?

I should seriously get my liscense renewed before I get pulled over whenever in the hopefully not near future.  Speaking of future, mine doesn't look too rosey right now.  Whatever amount of money it is...  it's a lot.

Once you see it you can't unsee it.

My dad is unusually healthy for a guy as heavy as he is.

Do not be afraid.  I am peace; I am salvation.
I am a timeless chorus.  Join your voice with mine, and sing victory everlasting.
Now the gate has been unlatched, headstones pushed aside, corpses shift and offer room; a fate you must abide.
Resignation is my virtue, like water I ebb and flow.  Defeat is merely the addition of time to a sentence I never deserved. . .  but you imposed.

So yeah, I need a job.  Any suggestions, or should I just fly by the seat of my pants like normal?

Ah, finally back from Grygla.  My uncle, previously confirmed bachelor, got married, and my brother Matt and I were assigned to be the "videographers."  Or, actually, Matt was signed on to film the wedding, I was brought on board just to supervise because no one really trusts Matt to do anything important (as if adding me to the equation would help).

Anyway, when time comes for the wedding and Matt's got his nifty video camera all set up, my uncle's now wife (I suppose... aunt?  But it seems weird to start considering someone an aunt when you're 20) handed me her sister's camcorder and told me to film as well, but from a different angle.

Let it be known I know absolutely nothing about cameras and was so completely blindsided when the priest said "please stand" that I'm fairly certain I cursed aloud.  Needless to say it was a rough experience trying to film a wedding that I couldn't see half the time thanks to the standing audience and complete lack of both experience and a tripod.  I do not want to see how my film ended up.

Funny thing was Matt was completely professional about the whole thing and didn't ever once require my help.

I also was recently made aware that Matt is going to the Minneapolis Art Institute next fall.  A college that I failed to be accepted into.

.....

At the risk of sounding like a bratty kid, I got into a big fight with my dad earlier today.  We've since apologized, but yeah.  I'll spare you what started said skirmish as its rather embarassing for both me and my dad.  I still stand by my belief that he was the instigator, meaning that I was the winner by actually pushing my dad to the brink instead of what typically happens (the opposite), or something?

I dunno, but then it got me thinking--I still haven't really grown out of the whole "rebellious teenager" phase, and I'm not even sure if that is even possible.  Hm...

Some people seem to have a misconception of who I am.  Not necessarily the (few) people who read this lj, but others.  A lot of people seem to think I'm a genuinely good, hardworking guy not a care in the world.  But I will earnestly tell you that I am most definitely not.  I'm a sad (as in pathetic, not emotionally) shell of a human who, while wishes no ill harm on those close to him, is slowly destroying his own life bit by tiny bit.

Maybe it's the glasses that trick people.

I tend to say "fuck" so much nowadays that I think the word has lost all of its value, meaning, and intensity.  I think I'll start liberally using the word "cunt" more often, some people think it's more vulgar for some reason.

Though fuck is an adjective/verb and cunt is a noun so I don't think a replacement would necessarily work out without me sounding like a retard.

Sphere has like the stupidest ending ever.  (At least the movie does, I've never read the book myself).  They solved absolutely nothing outside of getting back to the surface.  They used their super imagination powers to make themselves forget that they had the super imagination powers, yet the entire conflict of the whole movie stems from the fact that they didn't know they had super imagination powers until it was too late.

One of these days, Dustin Hoffman is going to be watching Cloverfield and he's going to get bit by a parasite and explode.

The Birds had a better ending, and that movie didn't even have an ending.

Speaking of Dustin Hoffman, I never even realized Kevin Spacey was in Outbreak until I saw it again for like the first time in ten or so years.

I don't actually have anything to write about, so I'll just post a picture that stuck my fancy while I was surfing the web...

"Too bad GameFAQs won't be invented for another 3 years."

Anyway, what the heck is up Curly's butt anyway?  What's he trying to prove, trying to beat up a retard?  And why does his wife not seem to have a name?

Ah, women.  Can't live with them, can't have heterosexual sex without them.

So I went to a lecture thing today called "Embracing Erotica."  Totally disappointing.  Maybe an April Fool's joke?  I dunno, but I feel like I should pull a prank that doesn't involve just RickRolling everyone I know.

Now, everyone's heard of singing in the shower. But singing on the toilet? That's a new one.

I've been thinking about giving up art and getting into the radio business. Sounds like a plan to me.

Well, I'm going to go eat lunch. If anyone needs me, fuck you. I'm eating.

Eight Ball Pool is a ridiculously racist game. A white ball smacks around a bunch of colored balls and then saves the black ball for last.

(week and a half)

Anywho, Spring Break officially begins for me on this Saturday (March 1st).  Which is really early.  So yes, I'm going to be home in the cities all that week.  No plans.  Anyone else who has Spring Break then, if you're willing to, we could do shit.  Or something.  Because otherwise I'm just going to be sitting on my ass playing Mass Effect all week, waiting for the clock to strike midnight on March 8th.

When one vomits in a public toilet, isn't it common courtesy to at least flush said toilet?

i think rambos a pretty cool guy, he shots exploding arros and doesnt afraid of anything

Anywho, apparently they now lock the front doors of the residence halls at 7 instead of 10 now?  Fucking retarded.

Every Sunday evening, someone pours an entire cup full of ramen noodles into the furthest right sink on my floor's restroom.  Without fail.

Apparently I have class on Presidents' Day?  Aren't we supposed to get that off or something?  I think I always used to, anyway.

Did you know that drawing a swastika on a wall is considered a bias related hate crime?  At least, according to SCSU.  Man, just imagine if they found my folder back from like ninth grade that Paul drew swastikas all over as a joke(?).  I'd be lynched.

My roommate appears to be shopping for revolvers online.  Or just surfing the net, looking at the specs of old guns.  Guy's kind of a gun nut.  Or maybe just a guy who likes reading about gun history.  I dunno.  He's not much for talking.  I'm sitting like two feet from him and I think we've said a total of like two words to each other all week.

(little known fact--I actually have the license to own a firearm; says right on the back of my driver's license, "Firearm Certificate."  Bet you'll think twice before insulting me, eh?  Or not, I don't actually own a gun.  I can only legally carry and fire one.)